Rhody at random

Rhode Island revels in a certain amount of national irrelevance but strangely the nation keeps tabs on us regardless. Of all the states that don’t really matter, only Alaska grabs more headlines – and that’s only because a certain former polar-lovin’, drill-baby-drillin’ governor seems to be taking the diva express on her own personal Bridge to Nowhere. And we thought Buddy was embarrassing.

Still, Rhody gets more than its share of ink. In the past couple of months, we’ve been Daily Beasted, Huffington Posted, Fox Newsed and New York Timesed for a grab-bag of stories ranging from the decision to become the first East Coast state to license medical marijuana shops to considering a proposal to legally shorten the state’s name. We’ve been Buzzed, Cheat-Sheeted and Op-Edded, with banter around the national bubbler disparaging the virtue of both Miss Rhode Island and the Amazon tax.

Heady stuff for a state that really just wants to be left alone to gorge on a few doughboys and veg out to “Family Guy” reruns.

This week’s question: What is the most important Rhode Island story to go national this year?

In other news
A great white shark recently was pulled from a fish trap in Narragansett, causing a bit of a stir. Even in saltwater-savvy Rhode Island it seems, people sometimes need to be reminded that, yes, the ocean is where sharks live. It’s not all sea stars and sand dollars out there.

Better late than never department
The Fox foot soldiers comprising the R.I. Tea Party grabbed a few headlines by getting kicked out of the oldest, continuous Fourth of July Parade in the country, a.k.a. the Bristol Stomp. Their offense? Handing out copies of the U.S. Constitution. Sounds harmless, except that organizers prohibit handing out anything at the parade, primarily for safety reasons. Not only do all organizations know this, they are required to sign a form promising not to do it. So while distributing copies of the First Rules of America, the Tea Partyers conveniently and intentionally ignored the rules of the parade, hoping for a media firestorm in the aftermath. Some day they should try reading their own Constitution. Really. Reading is fundamental, although perhaps not fundamentalist.

Earlier this year, a Brown University senior interviewed the children of parents who attended the Tax Day Tea Party in Providence for The Huffington Post. Judging by the quotes, nothing says liberty quite like brainwashing your kids:

Aviva, 11 and Isabelle, 8

Q: What brings you out here today?
Aviva: The big stimulus.

Q: How do you feel about the stimulus?
Aviva: It’s not making me happy.
Isabelle: Obama is not making me happy.

Emily, 8 and Samuel, 10

Q: Why are you here?
(Silence.)
Mother: To oppose Obama’s trillion dollar budget. To cut the pork.
Samuel: For the pork.
Q: How do you feel about pork spending?
Samuel: I like pork.
Mother: No you don’t. We don’t like excess spending.
Samuel: I do. I like pork.

Victoria, “10th-grader,” holding sign that reads “How Do You Like the Change So Far?”

Q: What kind of change would you like to see?
Victoria: I like change in general.

Q: What’s wrong with change so far?
Victoria: I didn’t make this sign. My friend did.

Q: Why are you holding it?
Victoria: The blue, see? (Holds it to her shirt.)

Q: Oh. It’s the same color.
Victoria: I’m gonna go protest now.