Balance of State

This state has only five counties. They include Bristol, Kent, Newport, Providence and Washington. (South County isn't a county, even though it's called one, but is instead a region of historical and cultural distinction encompassing most of Washington County.) To promote the state, however, officials split the five counties into seven tourism regions, one of which lumps East Greenwich, West Greenwich and Coventry into South County. So the region is marketed to the world as something that doesn't pass the snuff test at Gilbert Stuart Birthplace and Museum for anyone living in South County (or the other three towns, for that matter).

Even stranger, Global Insight, a national economic analysis firm hired in 2006 to assess tourism in Rhode Island, decided that seven tourism regions still weren't quite enough. So they made eight. Now we have Providence, Warwick and the West Bay, East Bay, Block Island, Blackstone Valley, Newport County, South County and an eighth piece that could have only been named by a bureaucrat: "Balance of State." Lucky enough to live in Rhody limbo as the puzzle pieces that don't fit are Cranston, Foster, Johnston, North Providence, Scituate and West Warwick.

Collectively, "Balance of State" seems to be a region known for cold strip pizza, apple orchards, the reservoir that provides water to most of us and strip malls. Coming soon to Green Airport: "I (Heart) Balance of State, Rhode Island" T-shirts?